Tag Archives: Child

Activity Ideas for Kids: “hands on : as we grow”

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This week on MamaOT we’ve been featuring various websites and blogs that will give you a creative boost when it comes to coming up with activities to do with the kids in your life. Monday featured “No Time for Flash Cards“, Tuesday was all about “Productive Parenting“, and Wednesday focused on messy play ideas from “Growing a Jeweled Rose“.

Today I am excited to share with you a blog called hands on : as we grow: hands on kids activities for hands on moms. It can be found at www.handsonaswegrow.com.

Hands on : as we grow is run by a stay-at-home mom named Jamie, and she blogs about the activities she does with her two boys (age 2 and age 4). This is a really interactive blog featuring activities that can be searched by the following categories:

My absolute favorite part of hands on : as we grow is Jamie’s challenge to both herself and other parents to learn how to be a “hands on” parent. You absolutely MUST read her post about “How to become hands on with your kids” (click here). It is inspiring, to say the least. She addresses ten hurdles that get in the way of being a hands on parent (like “I’m not crafty” or “I don’t have any of the stuff”) and goes through them one by one to help you get over your fears, insecurities, and excuses about spending quality, hands on time with your kids (and, yes, Pinterest is one of those ways to overcome) — and she does it without an ounce of arrogance or judgment.

Not only does Jamie of hands on : as we grow encourage parents to spend quality hands on time with their kids, she has also issued a challenge called “30 Days to Hands on Play”. As part of this challenge, she asks parents to join her in spending 15 minutes of uninterrupted hands on time with their kids for 30 days straight. And each day, she provides a new idea for how you can spend that time. She also asks parents to do some self-reflection and come up with a simple mission statement about how they want to become more hands on with their kids. It could be as easy as saying, “I want to play with my kids once a day without any distractions for 15 minutes,” or, “I want to learn how to actually enjoy spending time with my kids.” Sounds simple but as a parent, I know, that can be quite a stretch for many of us. Click here to read her introduction to the 30-Day Challenge.

I really can’t say enough good things about hands on : as we grow. I absolutely love Jamie’s heart behind what she does and I would recommend this blog to any parent or caregiver in a heartbeat. If you’re interested in checking out this blog but don’t know where to start, I’d recommend heading over to her “my favorites” page, where she shares a list of some of her fave hands on : as we grow posts (which includes posts related to the 30-Day Challenge). Find her favorites page by clicking here.

I really, REALLY hope you check out hands on : as we grow. To be honest, I haven’t known about this blog for very long and, already, I have been inspired to become more engaged with my baby and avoid interruptions in the precious moments I have with him. I hope it will inspire you, too.

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Activity Ideas for Kids: “Productive Parenting”

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This week on MamaOT we are focusing on expanding your activity repertoire so you can stock up on great ideas for how to play with the kids in your life!

Yesterday I introduced you all to a great kids’ activity blog called No Time for Flash Cards: Learning and Play for Babies, Toddlers, and Kids, which can be found at www.notimeforflashcards.com.

Today I want to introduce you to another site filled with hundreds and maybe even THOUSANDS of educational activity ideas for you do with your minis. It’s called Productive Parenting and can be found at www.productiveparenting.com.

Productive Parenting is a website (not a blog) filled with activity suggestions that have been submitted by professionals with Masters’ Degrees in Education, so you know they are developmentally appropriate activities that are, indeed, productive. You can search activities based on:

  • AGE — early/middle/late infant, early/middle/late one-year-old, early/middle/late two-year old, early/middle/late three-year-old, early/middle/late four-year-old
  • CATEGORY — daily living skills, exploring our world, fun with numbers, language/pre-reading, science adventures, sensory experiences
  • SKILLS LEARNED – attention span, balance, bilateral coordination, body awareness, cause and effect, classifying, concept development, coordination, counting concepts, creative expression, creative movement, emotional development, eye foot coordination, eye hand coordination, fine motor, grasp and release, gross motor, imagination, language development, listening, lower body strength, matching, object permanence, patterning, pre-writing, problem solving, rhythm exploration, role play, self concept, sensory development, sequencing, size and shape discrimination, smelling discrimination, social development, sorting, sound discrimination, spatial awareness, tactile stimulation, trust, upper body strength, visual development, visual discrimination, visual stimulation, visual tracking, vocabulary enrichment

Whew!

The unique thing about this website is that you can sign up to have them email you a “productive parenting” activity as many days of the week as you’d like, so you can start off your day with a bit more inspiration than that over-sized cup of coffee can give you. Very cool!

I do have two words of caution about using this website:

  1. Though all of the activities are educationally sound, I’ve found many can come across as “drill-like” (something that yesterday’s website really tries to avoid). While you shouldn’t drill your eleven-month-old on whether the stuffed bear is sitting “on top”, “next to”, or “under” the chair (a suggestion I received in my inbox the other day), those are certainly good concepts to incorporate into and emphasize in your everyday interactions with your sponge-like baby. My advice: keep the activity suggestions in the back of your mind and don’t take them so literally that you end up making learning un-fun for your little one.
  2. In the “pre-writing” skill area, there is an activity for middle one-year-olds called “Holding Crayons”. In it, they recommend giving the child thick crayons and then encouraging them to scribble while using a pincer grasp (pinching with thumb and index finger while resting crayon on middle finger). First of all, DON’T PUT THICK CRAYONS IN LITTLE HANDS! Thick crayons prevent little hands from developing the small muscles in the hands necessary for strong writing and fine motor skills. Secondly, DON’T MAKE A ONE-YEAR-OLD HOLD A CRAYON WITH A PINCER GRASP. It’s fine — actually, it’s expected — for a one-year-old to hold a crayon with a fisted grasp. Click here for an easy-to-understand image of the progression of handwriting grasp. Give kids regular crayons, trianglular crayons, or short crayons/crayons that have been broken in half (click here to read why).

Overall, Productive Parenting is a really helpful website for anyone looking for an easily accessible list of educational activities for kids under age five. It’s a great resource to help you find some favorite activities, and the fact that they can email you ideas on a daily basis is a huge plus. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Check back tomorrow to learn about a great kids’ activity blog that’s all about getting MESSY!!

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Tips for handling your own feelings when caring for a fussy child {Guest Post}

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Please join me in welcoming MamaOT’s newest guest blogger, Kassandra Brown! Kassandra is a parenting coach who provides support and training to parents to help them be the best parents they can be. She is offering a special deal to MamaOT readers (details at end of post). Today she will be addressing a topic that I know affects every single one of us parents: how to handle your own feelings when caring for a fussy child. I hope you learn as much from Kassandra as I have and are able to apply her tips the next time you find your emotions about to bubble over in the midst of a tough parenting moment.

. . . . .

The clock on the nightstand reads 5:45pm. Baby starts to squirm and fuss. You offer her your go-to moves but she seems disinterested. Within a few minutes, the fussing has turned to outright crying and you are reluctantly waiting for it to turn into ear-piercing screams. Many of us have dealt with colicky babies, toddler temper tantrums, or slamming doors and “I hate you!” yelling from older children. Yet this post isn’t about how to stop them from screaming or crying. This is about figuring out what’s going on for you and how you can get parenting support for yourself during those times of stress.

scream and shout

Here are five steps to handling hard moments:

Step 1. What are you feeling?
The first step to handling your own fussy feelings is to acknowledge that they exist. What happens in you when your child cries, whines, hits a sibling, or does his/her classic acting out behavior? Do you feel angry, sad, hopeless, ‘at the end of your rope’? Every parent comes to moments where they feel this way. What we do with those feelings is important. Pretending they aren’t there or distracting ourselves with food, TV, shopping, or conversation will just make it more likely that they will slip out sometime when our defenses aren’t up-to-snuff. Those slips are the times that are more likely to lead to behaviors you’ll regret later – like yelling or hitting. So take a deep breath and let yourself feel.

Step 2. What are you thinking?
“I’m going to crawl out of my skin if you keep screaming!” or “Kara’s baby never cries,” or “THIS IS NEVER GONG TO END!!!.” Do you think about running away, hiring a babysitter, or getting professional help from a therapist? Do you wonder why you ever had children in the first place? Do you tell yourself everyone else is a better parent than you or that their children are easier than yours? Acknowledge what you’re thinking in order to gain a better understanding of where your mind is.

Step 3. Where are you?
Ask how much of you is present and how much is in imagination (past, future, or someone else’s life). For example: A child doesn’t want to go to sleep and uses everything in his toolbox to stay awake and keep you with him. Is your reaction just about tonight or is it about all the nights he’s every resisted sleep and all the ones you fear are coming and about how your marriage is shaky and you need time with your partner and you only have these two hours from when you expect your son to go to sleep until you have to go to sleep so you can function the next day and his plea for water just cost you five more minutes of that precious partner relationship healing time? And you just know your partner is pissed that you aren’t doing the ‘cry it out’ method?

Step 4. Have empathy.
First, for yourself. Second, for your child. Third, for everyone else who you imagine has opinions about your parenting. Allow your thoughts and feelings to be acknowledged without having to judge, fix, heal, or troubleshoot them. Take a leap of faith that everything your system is doing in response to your child’s fussiness is happening for some reason that’s grounded in trying to meet some need like safety, ease, or feeling loved. Then take the leap to feel into what’s behind your child’s crying. What does he want? What might his needs be? In the example above, when your child doesn’t want to go to sleep, is his need really to mess up your evening? Is that what he’s trying to do? No. He’s trying to meet some need of his for love and reassurance. Does that mean you have to stay with him all night and give up your plans to be with your partner? Maybe…Probably not. But good boundaries are much easier to find and set when we’re empathic with ourselves and our children.

Step 5. Listen deeply to yourself and to your child.
Once we listen deeply to those inner voices, those inner needs, it almost magically becomes easier to sit with and listen deeply to the expression of your child’s inner longings and unmet needs. Even when these needs sound like crying, screaming, and yelling. We begin to know through experience that the voices of unmet needs start out as raging or crying. It hurts to have big needs that go unmet. Yet after expressing these emotions, we are then able to talk and share in more reasonable ways. This is true for our children and for ourselves.

If, after completing these five steps, you are still having difficulty with your own emotions in relation to your child’s behavior, try walking yourself through the following exercise to help you find empathy with your child. You can access it by clicking here.

wisdom kissing ozare

Taking time to be listened to deeply is amazingly healing for everyone I’ve met. We ache to be understood and to have someone see value in us by their deep, compassionate listening. Almost no one I know wants to be “fixed”. We know we’re not broken. We ache to be heard as we feel into what’s hard, dense, or clouded in our lives. A good friend can offer this support. And so can I.

. . . . .

Kassandra Brown is a parent coach offering deep listening to allow parents access to their own inner worlds. She believes the best way to help children is to support parents. She loves to practice yoga, snuggle, and garden.

Learn more about parent coaching via phone or Skype at parentcoaching.org and receive a special offer!

 

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7 of the best toys for toddlers

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In my last post I shared with you 15 toys for baby’s first year. Babies are great and all, but now it’s time to talk about toddlers!

I’ll be honest, this post was a little trickier because kids’ abilities and interests become even more varied at this age, so it’s difficult to put together a definitive list of toys. So rather than share specific toys that toddlers may find appealing (that list would be waaaay too long), I’m going to share with you seven categories of toys that will be sure to entertain them while also challenging their skills and encouraging their development in areas such as fine motor, gross motor, cognitive, language comprehension & expression, social emotional, self-help, and sensory-motor.

As mentioned in my last post, you don’t always have to go out of your way to purchase toys. Many of the best ones can be found right in your own home. However, if what you’re looking for is some direction in your toy-buying, then you’ve come to the right place.

Here are seven of the best toys for toddlers (ages 1-3):

1. Toys that encourage problem-solving and fine motor skills.
Shape SorterProblem solving and fine motor skills often go hand-in-hand…literally. Kids — especially toddlers — learn through hands-on experience and need to be given the chance to figure things out on their own (within reason, of course) in order to promote higher level cognitive and motor skills later on. Some examples include shape sorters, large Duplo blocks, blocks for stacking and balancing, pegboards, basic puzzles with knobs (animals, shapes, vehicles, etc.), and play dough with accessories. Don’t forget that the development of fine motor skills also requires activities that will strengthen kids’ hands, so go for products that will challenge fine motor strength such as those that involve tongs, tweezers, or scissors for snipping (such as play dough scissors). Safety first: avoid choking hazards.

2. Toys that encourage interaction with vertical surfaces.
BañeraInteraction with vertical surfaces encourages kids’ wrists to bend upwards into extension, which is a pre-requisite for skilled handwriting (and typing). It also strengthens their shoulder girdle area, which is where the majority of their fine motor power will come from as their hands begin to develop the ability to scribble, color, and draw. After that, they will really need those strong arms to be able to support their rapidly advancing fine motor and writing skills. Depending on their age, consider toys such as play cubes, bath tub crayons, foam bath toys, dry-erase crayons (my absolute favorite!) magnets, or easels. Use chalkboard paint  or chalkboard contact paper to turn practically any vertical space into a chalk-friendly surface. Or easily make your own vertical surface simply by tipping a puzzle upright, taping coloring paper to the wall, or tilting a baking sheet vertically in order to encourage magnet play.

3. Toys that kids can ride.
Stalled TricycleForget the battery-powered Barbie/Spiderman Jeep. I’m talking about ride-on toys that allow kids to propel themselves. Remember those old-school Little Tikes cars that kids would sit in and use their feet to “drive” themselves? Those are awesome. So are other ride-on toys without pedals, tricycles, sit & spin toys, inflatable hopping horses, and scooter boards. (Click here for 10 fun scooter board activities such as body bowling!). Just as skilled hands require strong arms and shoulders to support them, they also require a strong and stable core. Strong hands are no good if they aren’t supported by a stable base, and ride-on toys such as these encourage the development of a strong, coordinated, stable base. Oh yeah, and they’re fun, too!

4. Toys that encourage both hands to work together.
Potato Head - March 2nd, 2011 Before kids can succeed in tasks such as skilled writing, coloring, or cutting, they need to be able to use both hands together well. Their hands can be doing the same thing at the same time (tossing and catching a ball, pushing and pulling pop beads), or one hand can be stabilizing an object while the other manipulates (velcro ball mitts, Potato Head, large lacing beads, wind-up toys, toys with zippers or snaps). Though there will be some overlap with the toys from Point One (that encourage problem-solving and fine motor skills), these toys are unique in that they pretty much require the use of two hands in order to successfully operate them, and they are just as important.

5. Toys that encourage pretend play.
Somebody's toy kitchenThe toddler years are the golden years of creativity. Embrace them! Toddlers can pretend with just about anything, even if it’s not meant to be a toy. If you’re looking to make a purchase, encourage imaginary play with goodies such as pretend food (especially the kind you can “cut” apart with a plastic knife), kitchen sets, dress-up clothes (don’t look too far!), baby dolls (for girls and boys), stuffed or plastic animals, and toddler-sized brooms, doll strollers, or shopping carts. Have a few basics on hand, and leave the rest to your child’s ever-growing imagination!

6. Toys that feel “weird”.
Yogurt = finger paint!Toddlers learn best when they can use all their senses. Additionally, it’s important for kiddos to be able to tolerate and interact with substances of all kinds of textures, from wet and slimy, to scratchy and bumpy, and everything in between. In general, the more toddlers can use their hands to interact with “weird” sensations early on, the more likely they will be able to tolerate various textures of foods in their mouths (thus alleviating some stress related to picky eating behaviors). Think about it: if you wouldn’t touch certain textures with your hands, why would you put them in your mouth? Some examples include playing with shaving or whipped cream, play dough, glow-in-the-dark slime, simple cornstarch/water mixture, flubber, cooked spaghetti, bucket of dry beans/pasta/rice (find hidden toys like puzzle pieces or lacing beads in them), (squeezable) sidewalk chalk, (edible) finger paint, bubble wrap, floam, cloud dough, and sand. Whew! Though these aren’t really “toys” per se, I really felt they needed to be included because of how important they are for kids’ developing bodies and brains. Buy them or make many of them yourself. Or better yet, have your toddler help you make them!

7. Books.
Kids and Reading It’s never too early to introduce children to books. Kids who are read to from an early age are more likely to become good readers and achieve academic success than those who aren’t read to on a regular basis, regardless of socioeconomic status. But it’s not enough to simply read books to kids. Little ones who become the most successful in reading and academics in late elementary school and beyond are the ones whose caregivers involved them in story time and made it interactive. Point out pictures and words, ask questions about what will happen next, clarify unfamiliar words to develop vocabulary, and check for understanding to develop comprehension. Look for engaging books that encourage rhythm, rhyming, repetition, matching, and/or identification of objects (animals, vehicles, body parts, shapes, colors, numbers, etc.). Give kids chances to improve their fine motor and hand-eye coordination skills by allowing them to turn the pages one by one, and help their imagination run wild as you narrate the story with unique character voices. Just wait: by the time your toddler is three years old, she’ll probably be “reading” and performing many of her favorites stories for you!

For more toddler play ideas, check out The Toddler’s Busy Book: 365 Creative Games and Activities to Keep your 1 1/2- to 3-Year-Old Busy. It’s a real treat.

I hope you keep these seven categories in mind and share them with others as you enjoy (or at least survive) the energetic, exhausting, imaginative toddler years!

[Update: Be sure to check out my post about 10 of the best toys and games for preschoolers!]

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10 tips to prepare parents for their child’s in-home evaluation

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JJ's Beautiful Mess free creative commons

Last week I found myself in a unique situation. A very unique situation. I — a pediatric occupational therapist who enters families’ homes on a daily basis to conduct developmental evaluations and provide therapy for their little ones — found myself sitting in my apartment waiting for an occupational therapist to come evaluate my own little one. Without going into too much detail, we have had feeding and sensory issues which have caused quite the ruckus in our household over the past 10 months or so. With my husband’s blessing, I contacted our local Regional Center and asked them to come out and take a look at our non-bottle-drinking, non-sleeping, non-self-soothing, head-butting bundle of joy to see if they could give us any pointers.

I couldn’t believe how nervous I was in the minutes before the therapists’ arrival (yes, they sent TWO therapists to check in on us…talk about feeling like you’re under a microscope!). If I — a therapist who does this for a living — was feeling this way (and I even knew exactly how the entire process would go), I can’t imagine how it must feel for parents who don’t know anything about the system or the process and simply want to know what’s going on with their child.

As we await the results of the evaluation, I wanted to share with you some tips from the perspective of a pediatric therapist for how to prepare for and participate in an in-home developmental evaluation, should you ever find yourself in such a position.

Here are five things to avoid:

– Don’t go out of your way to clean your house. If you’ve been meaning to clean your house anyway and the fact that strangers are coming over provides some incentive for you to finally get it done, then by all means, clean away. But if you’re having your child evaluated, chances are your day is already stressful enough. Don’t complicate it by rushing around to put away toys, wash the dishes, or mop the floor. We’re coming to evaluate your child, not your homemaking skills.

– Don’t worry about what your bathroom looks like. The person coming to evaluate your child more than likely won’t ask to use it. I know I don’t. And if they do, they will do it as quickly as possible and will certainly not be snooping through your medicine cabinet. Just make sure there’s some soap and a towel in there so we can come back out with clean hands.

– Don’t worry about making a place for us to sit. Unless other arrangements have been made, we will spend the majority of the evaluation playing with your child, and that means we’ll be down on the floor with them. We’re used to it. It’s what we do.

– Don’t change your parenting behavior just because a therapist is in your house. Talk and interact with your child in the same way you would if we weren’t there. We want to get a good look at how things usually go in your child’s life, not how you wish they would go. If you normally use baby signs while talking to them, then use baby signs. If you usually speak to them in more than one language, then speak to them in those languages. If you typically give them a time out when they misbehave, then enforce the time out if they end up earning one during the evaluation. Don’t get nervous about your parenting style just because there are strangers in your house. Again, we are here to evaluate your child, not your parenting skills.

– Don’t get defensive. It is our job to scrutinize every little thing we see your child do and be hyper-analytical about it. It’s what we’re trained to do. And it’s also what the assessment calls for. We are required to obtain developmental levels for all major areas of development: cognitive, language comprehension, language expression, gross motor, fine motor, social emotional, self-help, and maybe sensory processing (depending on your concerns). So even if you are only concerned about your child’s language skills, we are still required to complete a full developmental evaluation. It’s the law. It also gives us a better sense of why they may be struggling in the way they do so we can create the best possible plan and recommendations for them. Additionally, we will not only test skills at your child’s level, but also above their level so we can get a feel for where they’re at and what would be appropriately challenging goals to set for them. So please don’t get defensive or upset about the questions we ask or the difficult tasks we ask your child to complete. We’re here to help.

And here are five things to be sure to do:

– Write down bullet points of your main concerns before the evaluation. Include how long you’ve been concerned, some examples of how these concerns have manifested in every day life, and any questions you have related to these concerns. Unless I’m a total weirdo, I’m pretty sure you will feel frazzled and maybe even overwhelmed during your child’s evaluation (I sure did). It’s your baby — your precious baby who means the world to you — that they’re scrutinizing, and you’ll find yourself stumbling over your words as you look over at your child and try to explain what the problem is. So know your main concerns and be able to clearly state what they are.

– Try to schedule around your child’s naptime to the best of your ability. I know firsthand how inconsistent naps can be but, please, do your best to schedule around them. We are coming specifically to interact with your child and it’s hard to get an accurate assessment if they are asleep the whole time. Do your best to gauge when they’ll be napping on the day of the evaluation and if it looks like there may be a collision of schedules, try to call the evaluator just to give them a heads up. That will give them a chance to prepare themselves accordingly and maybe switch around some things in their evaluation or even in their schedule for the day.

– Start a folder so you can keep track of all the paperwork and handouts you will receive as part of the evaluation (and possibly intervention) process. This will make life so much easier for you and it will keep your brain organized as you meet with an assortment of people whose names and titles will escape you as soon as they exit your front door. You can get a basic folder from the grocery store for less than a quarter and, since we all go to some sort of grocery store, there’s really no excuse. On the day of my first meeting with our service coordinator, I had absolutely no idea where I had put the paperwork she had mailed to me and specifically asked me to make sure I had filled out for her when she arrived. Mommy brain to the max. I searched and searched and panicked and rushed around the apartment and then, 15 minutes before her arrival, I found it sitting neatly in a very logical spot over by the mail. Doh! Don’t make the same mistake as I did. Get a folder. Label it. Put it somewhere you’ll remember. You’ll be glad you did.

– Ask the therapist what activities you can do with your child in the time between the evaluation and when therapy services begin. It often takes several weeks between having an evaluation completed and actually beginning therapy. In addition to their full day of treating clients, the therapist has to score your child’s assessment, write the report, submit it to the appropriate parties, and then await authorization for services. As a parent, you’ve probably waited long enough before seeking out services, so the last thing you want to do is wait even longer to get started in helping your child. So ask the evaluating therapist if they have any suggestions for what you can do with your child while you wait for therapy to begin. They will be happy to provide some simple suggestions that will get you rolling and, hopefully, relieve some of your anxiety about your child’s progress.

– Remember that the therapists are on your side. We are here to help. We went through many years of formal education and training and have likely submerged ourselves in an unimaginable amount of debt in order to help people just like yourself and your child. It is our pleasure to work with you, and we want nothing more than to see your child succeed. We are on your side.

I hope this list is helpful and, hey, if you know of someone who could use this info, please pass it along!

 

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5 things your school OT wishes you would do this summer {Guest Post}

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MamaOT is proud to introduce its newest guest blogger, Abby Brayton-Chung. Abby is a pediatric occupational therapist who works in early intervention (0-3 years) and school-based settings. She’s excited to share a school OT’s perspective on what you can do with your kids this summer to make sure they enjoy themselves, develop some new skills, and come back to school ready to learn!

. . . . .

With the end of the school year and the official start of summer behind us, parents are now facing long summer days with the kids at home. What to do with all of that unstructured time? While your child may not receive occupational therapy services at school, here are five recommendations from a school OT to keep all children active and ready to learn this summer.

1. Get moving.
We're getting wet! Kids need physical activity to grow and learn. With the rise in childhood obesity, as well as shrinking physical education classes in schools, summer is a great time to develop healthy habits. Take a walk as a family after dinner, go to the park for a play date, swim at the local pool, or join a parks and recreation sports team. For children with special needs, sports can provide great opportunities for social interaction with peers, as well as developing healthy habits and learning new motor skills. For fidgety children, structured physical activity throughout the day can help with maintaining attention for learning.

Since kids love to be active, why not incorporate movement into summer learning activities? Set up an obstacle course outside or in your living room that involves matching colors, reading sight words, solving math problems or whatever academic skill your child could benefit from working on over the summer. Make it fun, add some movement, and they won’t even realize they are learning!

2. Get messy.
'Shaving' with cream and a spoon Just as children learn through movement, children also learn from exploration through their senses. By getting hands-on and getting messy, children will learn more about their environment and the world that surrounds them. Provide your children with lots of opportunities for sensory exploration this summer. Go to the beach and build a sand castle. Dig in the dirt, plant a garden, and stop to smell the roses. Draw with sidewalk chalk or finger paint. Pick and taste fresh berries. Make cookies. Not only is it fun to get messy, many of these activities also help develop strength, fine motor and visual motor skills too! Want to work on academic skills while getting messy? Practice writing letters or numbers in shaving cream, sand, or finger paint. Using a multisensory approach to writing will help solidify correct letter formation skills for your child. That, in turn, will make them more successful at handwriting in school!

3. Color on the walls.
Faith using oil pastels_4312 Ok, so you probably don’t want your kids to take that brand new box of crayons and create a mural on your wall, but please hear me out. Coloring or writing on a vertical surface, such as a wall or easel, can help improve your child’s pencil grasp, increase wrist strength and encourage the use of the small muscles of the hands when coloring. These are foundational skills that will help develop good handwriting skills, which your child’s teacher will appreciate when school starts back up in the fall!

4. Practice a new motor skill.
Kid surfing for 1st time at Surfers For #Autism: Returns to Treasure Island, Florida on 7 July 2012 Whether it’s shoe tying, jumping rope, riding a bike, or learning to surf, summer is the perfect time to practice, practice, and practice some more! For some children, learning a new motor skill seems to come naturally. For others, it takes lots and lots of practice and repetition. Summer is a great time to focus on a new skill. Make it fun and practice for just a few minutes a day. Consider it your child’s homework for summer. It’s much easier to practice shoe tying during the lazy days of summer than when you’re rushing out the door to get to school on time!

5. Develop hand muscles.
Play doughWith the focus on academics from the very early school years, teachers just don’t have the time to make sure children fully develop hand strength and fine motor skills. Use summer break to exercise those hands, so they can be successful at holding a pencil and writing. Squeeze, pull, roll, and pinch play dough. Build with LEGOS. String beads. Sort small toys using salad tongs. Stay cool by squeezing spray bottles and getting each other wet, all while developing hand strength! Don’t forget that hand strength also depends on core strength. Do animal walks and wheelbarrow walks, or color while lying on the floor to strengthen the arms, as well as the core. Strong hands will make for stronger writers!

. . . . .

Abby Brayton-Chung, MS, OTR/L is a pediatric occupational therapist with five years of experience evaluating and treating children ages birth to eighteen. Her work experience includes school based practice, early intervention and feeding therapy.  Abby lives in Southern California with her husband and their precocious cat. Some of her favorite occupations include running, hiking, reading a good book, traveling, and eating good food. Abby blogs about her experiences as a pediatric occupational therapist at www.abbypediatricot.blogspot.com.

For more ideas on ways to keep your children active, creative or messy this summer, visit www.notimeforflashcards.com.

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Invasion of that sweet imagination {Guest Post}

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Mama OT is honored to welcome Annie Groves as its newest guest blogger. Annie is a mama to two (soon to be three!) precious girls and today she will be addressing the topic of childhood imagination — perplexing nicknames, what happens when imagination comes to life, and tips for helping you engage your child’s imagination. Enjoy!

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My daughter, just shy of four years old, gave herself an imaginary name that stuck with us for well over two months. If you and I were to meet in the park as complete strangers and we went through the formalities of introductions, my daughter would have introduced herself as Kada (Kay-duh). It might go something like this:

You: Hi! What’s your name?
Me: My name is Annie, and this is Ellie and Claire.
Ellie: My name’s not Ellie! It’s Kada!
Me: (Somewhat nervous at her daughter’s insistence upon being called an imaginary name) She likes to be called Kada…
You: Ooooh… Nice to meet you!

Pretty soon, strangers in the park, her friends, and sometimes Yours Truly were calling this spunky three year old by a name she completely dreamed up on her own.

Enter the world of imagination.

We are trained as parents to look for signs of imagination. At our pediatrician’s office are flyers asking us to look for imaginative play by the age of 18 months. Does your child use pretend play? When both my daughters began interacting with dolls and animals beyond tight snuggles, I knew they were developing their sense of imagination and mentally checked off that milestone in my head. Imaginative play? Check!

Having not been formally trained in the world of psychology or child rearing (remember how they just hand you your baby in the hospital and shoo you out the door?), I figured we would encounter a more developed sense of imagination as my children grew, but I hadn’t thought much about parenting through imagination and creativity.

Quite honestly? I was bewildered at my daughter’s insistence of using a made up name with every single human being she encountered. My husband and I wondered at her imagination that seemed to explode at every hour of the day. One day, we were piling into the car and my daughter, who loves dinosaurs with every ounce of her being, exclaimed, “MOM! Wait! Don’t close the door!!!” When I asked why, she explained, “There are six dinosaurs and they’re not done getting in the car!” Cute, right? Oh wait. There’s more. “Mom! Only some of them can fit in the car so two of them are going to walk outside while we drive.”

I loved hearing about what was going on inside her head but couldn’t quite wrap my mind around how to protect her creativity while still maintaining reasonable social conduct. Many people told me it was a sign of intelligence. And this was nice, because parents like to hear that their kid is potentially smart, but I really wanted to engage my daughter, not just watch it happen.

Remember that part about not being an expert? About not knowing how to navigate this portion of parenthood? I tried several approaches with my daughter about this name deal. At first I went with it. And then it got frustrating and so I insisted that I call her by her given name because we are her parents and we gave her the name Ellie. Thankfully, my daughter is determined and was unphased by my discouragement. After a while, I gave in. We occasionally called her Kada, encouraged her to ask politely that others call her Kada, and after two months she was back to Ellie.

I’m so thankful for our raw introduction to a child’s mind. Our daughter gave us a gift of freedom as we watched her learn to express her thoughts and ideas in creative play. At the same time she was learning to assert her autonomy, we were learning how to install helpful parameters for her imagination.

Here are some tips my husband and I learned in the process:

1. Engage your child’s imagination. One of the easiest ways to engage your child’s imagination is to ask questions. She will be allowed freedom to explore her imagination while you, the parents, gain understanding into what interests your child and why she might take on peculiar behaviors. For instance, one of my favorite conversations occurred after I caught my daughter eating plants:

Me: El! What is in your mouth?!
El: opens mouth to reveal chewed up plants
Me: Why are you eating plants?! … (at this point a flip switched and I went from being annoyed at her eating plants to realizing her actions might expose imaginative play) Are you pretending to be a dinosaur?
El: smiles YES! I’m an Ankylosaurus!

Had I just addressed the plant eating issue (which, of course we talked about after understanding her herbivore practices), I would have missed out on her world and how she was putting into practice different concepts and ideas she was learning.

2. Set appropriate boundaries for your child’s use of imagination. Imagination is awesome, but small humans are certainly capable of pushing the boundaries when it comes to creative thought and play. When your child starts blaming poor behavior on his imagination or lying as a part of “imagining,” then it’s important to address poor behavior.

We encountered a bit of an attitude issue when El insisted on being called Kada. She grew disrespectful when others corrected her. My husband and I finally figured out an approach that honored her imagination while still allowing her to be kind to others. When we introduced ourselves to new friends, we trained Ellie to say, “I like to be called Kada.”

3. Have fun and play along! Pretend to be a dinosaur or a mommy shark or daddy hippo. Go on adventure walks with your kiddos, asking them to tell you about what they see and what they think about their discoveries. You might find yourself noticing every small flower along the sidewalk or even journeying on a hunt to find pirates. Find what she’s interested in and live in that world for just a half hour. Watch the bond that forms between you and your child.

In order to make the most of your toddlers’/preschoolers’ imaginative development, make sure you read lots of books with them and give time and space for their worlds to expand with art projects, make believe, and limited TV time.

Bonus for you – their imagination makes for great memories for mom and dad!

If you have a creative toddler/preschooler – enjoy! You are embarking on a journey bigger than yourself and it will prove to be helpful for your child’s brain development. Don’t freak out. Use it as an opportunity to be a kid again and make the most of those tender years!

. . . . .

Annie Groves is a fellow UCLA grad who became a mama two years after receiving her diploma. After five years of full time youth ministry in Hawaii, Annie is on an indefinite ‘mama sabbatical’ while her kids are pre-school aged. She currently lives in Keizer, OR with her husband JD (also a youth pastor), two sweet girls ages 2 & 4, and is expecting girl number three in less than two months!! Annie enjoys writing, photography, and coffee.

To read more of Annie’s writing, visit her blog at www.anniegroves.com.

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[Reblog] How to Miss a Childhood

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I came across a very moving post the other day on a blog called Hands Free Mama and I felt it was apropos, given the recent posts on parents developing attachment and learning how to attune to their children.

The post is called “How to Miss a Childhood” and, woah!, is it ever convicting. Read it here. Time to put down the cell phones, iPads, and laptops when we’re hanging with our little ones. Our kids are watching us as we pay attention to our technology more than them and, as Connor McClenahan mentioned in his guest post on attachment earlier this week, “There is no substitute for attachment with your child. Your child doesn’t understand your intention to be available – only your actions.”

Powerful stuff.

Hands Free Mama is a blog written by a mom who has committed to making memories and letting go of the distractions that pull her away from fully engaging with her children and other loved ones (like…blogging?). Her posts are extremely inspiring and encouraging, and couldn’t we all use a little more of that in our lives?

Let’s be parents who show our children how much they mean to us with our loving actions, rather than our (failed) good intentions.

Don’t let technology cause you to miss out on your kid’s childhood.

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Tips for helping you attune to your child {Guest Post}

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Yesterday, Mama OT welcomed its first guest writer, Connor McClenahan. In his initial post, Connor explained why parent-child attachment “is arguably the most important task of parenting”, and how you can facilitate this attachment by “attuning” to your child’s needs and emotions. If you have not yet read Connor’s first post, STOP what you’re doing and READ it. Right now. You’ll be glad you did. (Read here).

In this next post, Connor presents two simple activities you can practice with your child and explains the skills he or she will develop as a result. These “drills” are meant to help you develop your ability to attune to your child which, as mentioned yesterday, is an important contributor to the development of attachment. So without further ado…

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1) The Dance of Engagement

With baby: You’ll notice when you’re engaging with your baby that there are moments when she turns away. Let her turn away and don’t try to grab her attention. Wait for her to turn back to you, then welcome her with a smile. She’ll do this often as a way to self-regulate (to not get too overwhelmed by excitement).

With toddler: The same thing applies when your child starts to crawl. When she crawls away, be ready for her to turn her head to see if you’re still there – then welcome her with a smile!

Relational skill developed: “I don’t have to pull away from relationships or constantly engage – others are not demanding, nor neglecting. They let me be who I am.”

Self-skill developed: “I can do things on my own! I can be by myself and I can enter relationships without being anxious about anyone’s agenda for me.”

2) Follow The Child’s Lead

With baby: When baby is engaged with you, simply copy all facial expressions and sounds he makes as he does them! [Editor's note: Imitating baby's expressions and sounds is helpful not only for facilitating attachment, but also for developing his language and communication skills. What a deal!]

With toddler: When you are playing with him, follow his lead. Act as an assistant and promoter to his ideas and imagination, not yours! Do what he wants to do. Find enjoyment in his imagination!

Relational skill developed: “I am not eclipsed or neglected by others. Being intimate with another person is good and fun – life is better when shared with another.”

Self-skill developed: “My thoughts and my ideas are good and important! I am valuable, and the things I do are valuable”.

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Connor McClenahan is a graduate student in clinical psychology at Fuller School of Psychology in Pasadena, CA. He lives in Montrose with his wife, Sherianne, and his 3-month-old son, Aidan. His favorite occupations include cycling, spending time outdoors, and helping with his wife’s awesome youth group.

For more information on attachment parenting, please visit http://attachmentparenting.org.

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Why parent-child attachment is like working with clay in a freezer {Guest Post}

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Mama OT extends a warm welcome to its very first guest writer, Connor McClenahan. Connor is a graduate student in clinical psychology and is also a new dad! His recent experiences as both a student and new parent have taught him all about attachment — how important and rewarding it is, how difficult it can be to facilitate in real life, and how to go about developing attachment between parent and child. Take it away, Connor!

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This February I became a father to my first son, Aidan. He’s beautiful, and it is such a joy to see him grow every day.

In my first steps as a parent, I have been boggled by the wealth of information available to parents. Everyone is telling you what to do to make sure you don’t screw up your kids. From all this endless info, I got the impression that my major concern as a parent was to make sure he (1) sleeps through the night, (2) doesn’t cry, and (3) gets his shots. These things are great, and can contribute a lot to your sanity. However, shouldn’t parenting be about something else besides making your child less inconvenient?

Allow yourself to imagine this with me:

Twenty years have passed. Your child is now an adult. He or she has a mind, talents, friends, romance, and dreams. Twenty years from now, I am willing to bet you will not care whether he was toilet trained at 2 years versus 3 years old, whether she had a vibrating high chair, or whether _____________________ (fill in whatever thing you are now worrying about). Twenty years from now, when he is going off to college, or whatever he does, you will be concerned with other things. What would those things be for you?

Think about it. For me, I hope Aidan and I have a good relationship, he chooses a quality spouse, he knows how to be a good friend, he works hard at what he cares about and what’s right, and he is confident of who he is. I’m guessing your hopes are along the same lines.

What if you knew the quality of your relationship with your child now – right NOW – will determine the quality of her relationships for the rest of her life? Wouldn’t you do everything you could to do that well? Wouldn’t that change what you care about now?

Countless research studies have affirmed this very truth.

By five years old, a child has already formed his blueprint for what relationships are and how they work.

That’s it. It’s in stone. From then on, all of his future relationships will be based on that blueprint.

Crazy, right?

Here’s the thing: the human brain is ever solidifying. Parenting is like trying to make a vase out of a ball of clay…while in a freezer. Time is short. The clock starts ticking the moment your child is born, and those very first moves in the first years (moments of attention, delight, meeting their needs) are the most important in forming that vase. But let’s say you don’t “form that clay” through your loving attention within the first few years. It will get harder and colder until she’s a teenager and you’re threatening to kill her pet rabbit so she’ll take out the trash.

This relational phenomenon is what psychologists call “attachment”. Attachment is arguably the most important task of parenting. They say the BEST way to form good attachment (We all listening here? Remember, 20 years from now?) is to be completely available for your child on his terms. What that means is that you are to be tuned-in, like a radio, to his needs when he needs them (which is why psychologists call this “attunement”).

So, practically speaking, this means when your child wants to play – play. When she doesn’t want to play – don’t. When she wants to feed – feed her. When she wants to sleep – let her sleep. Be available on her terms. And be okay with her being and expressing herself however she is. Don’t make her smile when she’s crying, don’t make her play because you want to play. She’s the baby – her “state” should determine your “state”.

Doing this well will build the foundation for your child’s self-understanding and the quality of his future relationships.

Sounds simple, right?

No. Why?

Because if we’re really honest with ourselves, this idea is outrageous and difficult.

And why is that?

Our minds, too, are like clay — clay that has already hardened whether we received love or not. At that period when we were still soft, our imperfect parents did not mold us. They did not know how to attach to us well, to show us that our thoughts, feelings, and self are good, wonderful, and worth delighting in and joining. This happened to all of us, and we then had to fill the holes in our own parents’ hearts…at the cost of being loved as we are. Now, we are left hard and imperfect, yet still in need of the love we did not receive at that critical time. The easiest place to get that love is from our own children, who will do anything (at the cost of their selves) to get our love and attention.

I had an experience recently when this was made real for me. Upon returning home after a long day these were the words that came out of my mouth: “Hey Aidan! Did you miss me? Do you remember your Daddy?” Woah. Those were not the words of a parent, but those of a child needing attunement. I asked HIM to attune to me instead of ME attuning to him. If I had attuned to him, I could have said, “Hey Aidan! I missed you so much! I remember you – you’re my beautiful son!” I would have placed him rightly as the receiver of love. This interaction has made me ask myself often: “Am I being the parent or the child?”

It’s hard work to do this. It takes sacrifice. It might mean taking a big step and going through your own therapy to fill up some of those holes from your childhood. Or it might simply mean turning off the TV or getting off the computer (or phone or iPad or whatever technology serves as a barrier to your relationships) to be more available for your child. Wouldn’t you rather make that sacrifice than ask your child to sacrifice his future self and relationships?

It’s worth it.

So, with every moment you have with your child, show her how to be in relationship, to be connected and intimate with someone.

Seize the opportunity to work with the warm clay – to shape a young child who can fully love and be loved because of your attunement to him. You’ll thank yourself later!

. . . . .

 Q: I work during the day – I can’t imagine being constantly available for my child, as much as I’d like to. What can I do?
A: The first thing you need to do is realize what you are sacrificing by working. There is no substitute for attachment with your child. Your child doesn’t understand your intention to be available – only your actions. Also, no one else can do it for you. Sure, giving them to another adult during the day who is able to provide attention will be much better for the child than your inattention. However, that bond with you is the foundation of your future relationship. By attending to other things, you are teaching your child that relationships are not important. Not the message you want to send, right? But you are. Why? For what gain?

Q: Are you saying I should devote all of my time to being with my child?
A: No. It is unrealistic to assume you can spend your entire day with no other agenda besides being with your child. However, it does mean being available when you are with your child and she wants to engage with you. Besides, your child doesn’t want to play with you all the time. She needs her own time, just like you do. When she wants to look at the ceiling and drool all over herself (what a life!), do what you need to do on your own, too. When she wants to play, engage with her and have fun! Remember that attuning to your child means being aware of her needs, including the need for her own time.

Be sure to come back tomorrow, when Connor shares tips for helping you develop the ability to attune and attach with your child!

. . . . .

Connor McClenahan is a graduate student in clinical psychology at Fuller School of Psychology in Pasadena, CA. He lives in Montrose with his wife, Sherianne, and his 3-month-old son, Aidan. His favorite occupations include cycling, spending time outdoors, and helping with his wife’s awesome youth group.

For more information on attachment parenting, please visit http://attachmentparenting.org.

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